Can it really be true?

Three other big events have happened in the last couple of weeks, amid the happy pumpkin patching and trick or treating (each deserves a blog post on its own - and will).  The first - and happy occasions -  (tinged with a sweet melancholy for this mama) - my oldest babies turned 16 and 18. Can it really be true???

I couldn't be more proud of the two of them. They make parenting teens look easy. (Truthfully, it has not been easy - parenting just isn't -  a lot of time, love, nurturing, holding on and letting go, and prayer, and God's grace, have made them the wonderful teenagers that they are). Thank you Lord for entrusting these two precious people to John and I. They make me smile and teary...if you know me, I get teary a lot...it's what I do...

Drew's b'day was first and we had all his favorite foods, John made him a really cool guitar speaker, and he got lots of money from family that went toward an amazing vintage guitar. We took the whole family out to an old favorite (a place that, since our family has grown, we don't get to go to these days). Sakura is a "fancy cooking" place (that was what Drew called it way back when he was a toddler - the name has kinda stuck with our family). We took along his girl-friend and our family took up a whole table. It was so fun. It's been years since we have been (the little girls had never been) and the cool thing is that everyone likes the food now! There were years before when the kids only ate the chicken, or one kid only ate white rice. Luckily for us, the little girls split a dish, so did Kate and Zoe. It was totally fun - and no one but John and Kate caught the tossed shrimps!

 Both Drew and Kate decided on a shared party. So cool. Many years ago they shared a few b'day parties. So sweet that they are such good friends that they want to share again at this age. Truthfully, they have many of the same friends. So we picked a night between their birthdays and went for it. They decorated the back yard (you can see the lights on the back porch through the window) with little lights and chairs all around our NEW FIRE PIT!! (more about that later). Here's the set up before everyone got here. There is a large cake on the table (hard to see). The kids (about 25-30) hung out around the food, out at the fire pit, down in our basement with the music, and surprisingly, in our family room playing Just Dance on the x-box. Hilarious game...Have I mentioned that I just love their friends? They all had a great time and we were all partied out and cleaned up by midnight. Good times...Happy Birthday guys!

The invisible man??

Singing "Happy Birthday" outside

I realized as I wrote this post that I never got a clear birthday photo of Kate. We had the cake outside and all my pictures from the cake and firepit s'mores-making didn't come out so well - too dark. Her birthday gifts were the freedom and supplies to redecorate her entire room - I think I will need to do a post to show her amazing decorating skills.  She got a pilates class (which started earlier this semester), some other fun things too, and money :) We also shared a yummy Chinese meal with her - a buffet that we all love! Here is a photo from this past summer that shows Kate's beauty and funny spirit. Love this girl...

Boo...

The end of October every year is a favorite time for our family. We have a birthday on either side of Halloween and the most fun Halloween neighborhood ever (seriously, it's a large circle, people drive here from all over to do their trick or treating, and it is truly festive). 

For a family that almost wanted to opt out of the holiday that celebrates darkness and death, we have learned that it is the one time a year that neighbors and many others come to our door. It's an opportunity to welcome them, make over them and show as much love as we can to each of them as they stop by for candy.

Over the years, we have opened our home to our church lifegroup families and other friends on Halloween night (it becomes sortof a party/home-base for these families - a place to eat, pee, and come back to to sort out the candy and dig in). We have pizza, take pictures, and all the dads take the younger ones around the neighborhood. Many years the dads are even dressed up. Our costumes are made up of mostly things we have or make - occasionally we will purchase a wig or mask. The teens even get into it and some years we have had a large group of them. This year they all met here then walked over to a party of youth group friends in a nearby neighborhood.

I prefer to be the candy distributor and usually have some other moms with me. We sit out on the front step with our pumpkin and greet all who walk by and come up for treats. It is truly one of my favorite nights.

Mulan and Dorothy (they were rockin' the long hair!)

Finn from Adventure Time (she made her costume)

In case you're wondering, Ben is "Jim" from The Office (yes, my 11 year old watches The Office - it's hard with teens around, please don't judge...).  Jack is Slender Man - he is a current popular video game. His costume was actually so awesome and his 6'3" height carried it off well - he was scary. Have I mentioned he's only 13??

Part of the gang of kids - oh and my husband...yes, that's him on the end. He wore a recycled costume from last year's EnderMan costume (from Mind Craft). A close up is below - it was incredibly creepy. My pick for the greatest costume was Mary Poppins. She had all the details down and looked fantastic!

Drew and his girlfriend Zoe playing "Cowboys and Indians."  They make a pretty good looking couple don't they?  Drew turned 18 a couple of days before...more on that later...

Sorry for the blurry closeup. John used two itouches to sit behind the eye openings. Each itouch had an app of crazy eyeballs that moved all around. There were lots of choices of eyeballs (real and drawn and cartoon) but these were by far the creepiest. They were extreme closeups of real eyes and veiny and moving around in all directions. Think Marty Feldman...Kids loved it or were afraid. Several tripped just trying to see him and figure it out. By the end of the night one of the other dads just sat on the front porch with this mask on. The expressions on the little kids' faces as they approached our porch was hilarious! 

This picture (or one just like it) caused an Facebook sensation. Ben had all the details and body moves and expressions of Jim from The Office. He even let his hair grow out to look like Jim. Aside from being a bit embarrassed that my young son would be able to so have a character down from a show we didn't let my oldest son see til he was 16 is a bit "awky" (as my daughter says). Cudos to you Ben tho' for looking the part and cracking us all up.

This picture was actually taken the day after Halloween. I realized that we didn't get enough pictures that showed how creepy Jack looked in this costume. We did an afternoon photo session the day after Halloween out in the woods behind our house. I wouldn't want to run into him in the woods...

We were nervous this year that Halloween wouldn't happen. Hurricane Sandy had just slammed into my beloved NJ shore and we had expected to have bad weather as well. In the end it was fine for us here (not so much in NJ - I plan to write about my feelings on that soon) - just a bit chilly.

Fun was had by all as usual. By 9pm it was all over and all had gone home. Only my little pumpkin (I only make happy ones) was still out and glowing. Boo...

Some blog reflections...

HI peeps...I have been reflecting a bit on this blog lately. Why am I writing it? Well, I can't seem to even begin to get into scrapbooking again (oops, wait - I sold most of my stuff), and it is a fun way to keep up with the busy and sometimes ridiculous hilarious interesting happenings with our gang. 

I have been so surprised that many of you are reading and even sharing our blog. Thanks for stopping back again and again. I am excited that you care to follow our adoption and that you have enjoyed reading about our wacky family (and my random thoughts!).

I remember reading a while back that if you want to have a large blog "following," you need to have a niche - something that people can take away - something they can learn or a specific hobby, craft, style, etc.  Since I never set out to have a "following," I haven't really cared about that.

But I am finding that I really want to branch out from just family/adoption news and happenings. Although I could write about some of my interests and current lifestyle things like homeschooling, budgeting for a large family, knitting, crafting, Weight Watchers....I sorta don't want to have to have that be my blog's niche. While I probably will, from time to time, write about these things, it just seems like too much work to have to "choose" one or two of those topics to always focus on and have to keep up with new ideas/patterns/recipes etc.  

So instead, what is my heart passionate about?? 

I have found that lately I have wanted to share my faith - what I believe, why, and why I so much want you all to know Jesus like I do - to know that He loves you and died for you and promises to be with you in all your joys and trials.

 As you must know by now, I have become passionate about orphans - I want people to be aware of the enormity of the issue and want people to know about how others are helping and how they can help. I want to challenge YOU to help in some way.

Over the years as I researched adoption, I have gotten to "know," thru the internet and our Ethiopian adoption, a number of truly amazing families who have done some pretty awesome things in the world of adoption - one family who has adopted 20+ children, another adoptive family who sold everything to go run an orphanage in a country no longer open to international adoption, another woman who was so impacted from her adoption experience that she now single-handedly runs a very popular blog where she fundraises for families and shouts advocates for special needs orphans.

My plan is to highlight some of these amazing people, link their blogs, share their stories. I hope to do a little advocating too of some of the beautiful children that are waiting...just waiting and wishing and hoping that they will be "picked." So be looking for some posts with info about adoption, photos of the beautiful children, and what others are doing to serve in the area of adoption and orphans.  WE are GOD'S solution to the orphan problem. Yes!

The other thing I am passionate about is child sponsorship. For exactly half of my life (exactly), I have - and now my family has - sponsored children. We have, over the course of the years, sponsored 9 children through various organizations. As the years have gone by, we have found that aside from feeding and clothing and educating our sponsored kiddos, we have wanted to make sure that our money was providing the most important gift to our sponsored children - the gift of the Bible and knowledge and teaching of Jesus. That is what led us to Compassion International. 

Sponsor a Child

Among Compassion's several initiatives to address the needs of the poor in third world countries, their sponsorships (and actually all of their programs) are carried out by local churches. The food, education, aid, etc. is given in the name of Jesus (not the government or some social group). This is important to us. The children (and by association, their families) get plugged into a church where they receive programs, Bible instruction, aid, and the love of Christ.

A few years ago, I signed up to be a child advocate (not anything too big mind you - just enables me to set up sponsorship tables at concerts, events). I have done it a few times and it has been exciting to me when a new person takes on a sponsorship - I know how this one decision and commitment will impact this child forever.

So, from time to time, whenever you see this icon, I will be "blogging for Compassion." That post will be highlighting something about Compassion International, child sponsorship, our sponsored kids (we currently have 5), or the needs we can fill to serve and minister to those children living in poverty around the world.


If you are local, you will get a chance to hear a bit more about Compassion and the wonderful sponsorship program - in 2 weeks our church is sponsoring a "Compassion Sunday" - I will be sharing a video, some of my experience as a sponsor, and will have a display table with info/photos of children just waiting for you to say "Yes- I will sponsor you!!"

Well...this was a wordy post...ya still with me??? Off to bed now - it's been a long and busy day and tomorrow promises to be the same.

   

Update on T

"So what's going on with T??"

We hear this often from friends and family. I so wish I knew what our little girl was doing right this minute...but I don't. I just pray for her little self and her heart and that she is well and safe and being loved on by her foster family. We had our homestudy approved by our placement agency (WACAP) a week or two before we left on vacation and at that time our case worker told us we could now ask for an update on T. She had warned us that many times it takes a while to get an update, that you might not get all the info you want, or you might not even get a reply. Every province and area is different in how they handle these requests. Quite frankly, I figured we wouldn't get much info - and I figured it would take a while.

As we were enroute home from our vacation, we got an email from WACAP saying that an update had come in - along with 8 new pictures of T!!! OH HOW I WISH I COULD SHARE THEM!!! SHE IS ADORABLE!!

These pictures are the first we have seen of her smiling (in all of them!). She is so cute and looks very happy. Her update sounds as tho' she is making good progress, isn't shy, loves to dance and help with family chores, is talking up a storm, and is small for her age. She has been in two foster homes since she was found as a newborn - the current one for several years and she is very attached to her foster mother. This news in wonderful and heartbreaking all at once. To know that she is attached is such good news for the future bonding in our family but will mean there will be lots of grieving (understandably) as her little heart leaves the home and family that she now loves. We have to remind ourselves that her new home with us will be forever. Her current situation as a foster child is not permanent - it doesn't lead to adoption. It doesn't lead to medical help and education always. It doesn't lead to a life free from the stigma of being an "orphan."

T's adoption is considered a special needs adoption. T, like so many of the children who are available for adoption, has a minor special need (in our opinion). When we found T on a waiting child list, she was listed as having mild cerebral palsy which only affected her speech. After having several doctors assess her files, it looks more likely that she had hydrocephalus at some point. Although her CT scans are clear now, she has clearly had hydrocephalus in the past (likely from an infection like meningitis, or an injury) resulting in an increased head circumference. She is speaking in long sentences now and seems to be developing just fine - tho' her speech is unclear at times. Many children wait as "special needs" kids with even milder issues (birthmarks, missing fingers, hernias, repaired cleft palates, etc).  These minor things can be considered bad luck for families. Because of the one-child-rule, these children are often given up in hopes of having a child who is more perfect. So sad...(by the way, is there such thing as a "perfect" child?? Don't they all have special needs of some kind? lol).

So where are we now??

Our dossier documents are currently being stamped and sealed by officials in DC and being held at our placing agency while we await some immigration paperwork and approvals. We are one step closer to that as we have just gotten our fingerprinting done in DC for the immigration process (so they can check that we aren't in the national registry of criminals!). Now it will be a matter of weeks to get our immigration approval. After that, our dossier (the packet of many important pieces of paper that represent our family) will travel to China. Several other steps come after that. Our case worker estimates that we will travel between March-May. It all depends on how fast each of the steps take. Several of the steps can take 2-4 months to complete.  At the moment, the trend is that each step is taking closer to 2 months than 4, but in adoption, things can change so quickly....no certainties in this process.

Fundraising

Now that we have passed the homestudy phase, we can apply for a number of grants (my next big project) and can move on to some more serious fundraising. Look for announcements of some of these coming up. Adoption and travel are so expensive. Although we are approved to be able to AFFORD to raise another child - GETTING her here is another story. The adoption process is SOOO expensive. Like, REALLY expensive. We are trying to meet most of these expenses ourselves - selling lots of our things, using retirement money and savings, saving every penny we can. But we do need help to meet the fees and the travel that lies ahead.

We SO appreciate all who have helped us so far with their generous donations to our puzzle. We are asking again that if you are interested in helping, that you consider purchasing a piece, or pieces of her puzzle. We are only about 1/5 of the way toward finishing the puzzle. Please consider making a $10 donation for a puzzle piece. Our chip-in on the right is only available when viewing our blog on your computer (it doesn't show up on a phone browser).

How else can we help?

Pray...pray...pray. Pray for T - she has some huge changes ahead. She will need to leave the only life she has known and she will grieve. She will need to adapt to a culture, language, environment, and family that are strange to her. Some children handle these changes like champs. Others, not so easily.

Pray for us. That we can save more, sacrifice more, and do more to help raise the funds for this adoption/travel. Pray that we can share our hearts to those who ask - that we can share that it isn't us but the Lord who is so great - that it is He who is "rescuing" a child from a life as an orphan without the love of a forever family - not us being nice people.  We said "yes" and "send us" - the rest is His work, folks. This is what He is all about - rescue, redemption, making beauty from ashes -like His rescue and "adoption" of us into His family.

Family happenings...

Hi peeps! With all the adoption hoopla going on around here, I realize I haven't kept up to date with the family happenings around here.  We have had Easter, some birthdays (#3 became a teen), a prom, a graduation (more about that in a later post), two ER trips for a concussion and stitches, school music concerts, a trip to Germany (John), trips to cousins and grandparents, visits from several sets of cousins, lots of "Goodwill Hunting" with the cousins, lots of swimming,  a kung fu belt test, dance recitals, a "Gotcha Day" celebration, and I am sure a whole bunch of other stuff that have made my life too busy and made me feel like a chicken with my head cut off... 

Here are some photos to get you up to speed...I realize that often I was too busy to even think to pull out my phone/camera..

Easter Day 2012

Drew and his girlfriend Zoe

Drew and other high school grads being recognized and prayed for in church.

First ER visit of two for a concussion

COUSINS!! 

Hanging out at the cousins' pool.

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When the cousins visited, we spent an afternoon hunting at three different Goodwills - here is our collective haul!!

Gotcha Day 2012

Much more went on and I haven't been so great of catching it all on film. April, May and June are always so busy. Life is slowing down a bit now with summer in full swing. The four older kids have all been blessed to attend Christian youth conferences this summer (the older two are there now), and the little girls have been enjoying vacation Bible schools at several area churches, and swim lessons. As always, we have spent lots of time at the pool, playing games, watching movies, and hanging out with friends. The beach trip is just two weeks away - woohoo! We can't wait!