Oh my heart...

photo credit

I have tried to sit down several times to write but haven't been able to find the words. Yes, I had several posts all lined up in my mind. One was going to be photos of some of our favorite tree ornaments - sweet and humorous stories about them. Another was going to be one of all the signs of Christmas going on around here - the happy excitement of Advent and family traditions. Yet another was to be an ode to my wonderful husband as we hit our 20th wedding anniversary on his birthday (yes, the same day), December 13th. 

But those posts didn't get written. December 14th happened and quite honestly, I have cried and been unable to write about what seems absolutely trivial, unimportant, and sorta flimsy in light of the heartbreak and sheer nightmare that families in Connecticut are living and breathing right now. Like all of you, I sat glued to my tv or computer most of Friday and the weekend (unless my little girls were around), just trying to wrap my mind around what had happened and putting myself in those families' place (just can't help myself). I felt destroyed. I have prayed, and prayed, and prayed some more. It's really all one can do.

Monday's news of funerals and burials left me teary all throughout the day. How can it be that parents are having to bury their precious young children at Christmas time? Why, Lord? Why?

I have a six year old - I have had 6 six year olds. My heart hurts. This age is pure delight (well, ok, most of the time...). Oh God help us.

Amid the talk of stricter gun laws (ps - I hate guns) and improved care for those with mental illness (which I do agree needs to be addressed), and even all the talk about God not being allowed in our schools (which, although He lives in the hearts of students and teachers who are true believers, is altogether true), there are a couple of basic truths that are not being discussed.

Evil is real and here and seeks to destroy. No one really wants to say it.

This world is broken. God made it perfect and was WITH us until we, with our free will, decided to destroy the relationship with God by our greed and selfishness and sin. Ever since then, God was planning a way to redeem the relationship and bring us back into relationship with Him. His promise was fulfilled in a broken and messy world by the birth of a baby. The dark world that He sent His only son into, was a time, much like ours. There was hatred and violence, poverty and need.  Jesus came into a poor, messy, violent, and dark world. The world needed Jesus then. We need him now. Oh Lord Jesus.

(note the nativity set amid the "messy" dining table covered in my teenagers' school papers, etc)

And so, my posts will resume, probably in a day or two. I will probably end up doing a few Christmas posts (complete with ornaments, decorations, and traditions). I will also share some wedding photos. But for now,  I continue to pray and thank God for the baby Jesus who came down into our dark and messy world.

Amid the darkness there is still hope. Amid the darkness there is still Joy.

I can't even believe it...

Back in April when we started brainstorming for fundraisers, we debated doing a large puzzle. I had heard about other families doing the puzzle fundraiser and it just seemed daunting to me. It required lots of donors, lots of money, and potentially, lots of time in order to complete it.

But we decided to go for it and I have to say, the first few days after we announced it, I was encouraged. Lots of people joined in and were generous, but then it dwindled.

Over the months, we would go long stretches without a donation but then a friend mentioned us on a blog and we had some donations from folks we didn't even know. The last couple of months have brought us much support and large donations. Some one would hand us a donation (some didn't even know about the puzzle, but their names went onto puzzle pieces after donating - some asked to be anonymous). Anyone who has given to us over these months - whether for puzzle pieces specifically, or just a donation toward the adoption from then til yesterday - got puzzle pieces.

Yes, my good news is that WE ARE DONE...THE PUZZLE IS COMPLETE!

PRAISE GOD that through your very GENEROUS gifts...we have raised $5000.00 through the puzzle. Wow...amazing.

In the next weeks, amid the hustle and bustle of Christmas preparations, we will be trying our best to complete our puzzle, get it framed between two pieces of glass, and hang it in a prominent place in our home. Our family is now from all the ends of the earth and a map of the world is so fitting.

Thank you to all who have donated.  We have left our "chip-in" on the blog for any who still would like to donate, as we are still raising necessary funds.

In other fundraising news:  Thank you to all who worked so hard to help pull off our Holiday Market - still waiting on numbers to announce to you how much we raised there.

Thank you, also,  to all who are saving loose change for us in our Cha-Ching for Ting banks. We received a huge bag of change from a very special-to-us family yesterday... such kindness. I will one day post the total on that fundraiser once all the banks come in...

As you bring your Cha-Ching Change in, I will add your name to the bottom of the blog. I want you to know how thankful we are! And if you missed out on the puzzle and want to help our little girl in some way, save up some loose change in a jar for us. Every little bit helps!

Adoption is not cheap. One day I will break down the expenses on here. Although we are able to afford to raise another child, the money for the adoption and travel costs are not just sitting in our accounts. That's where we had to just trust God and proceed anyway. We determined that at the onset we would need to fundraise for half the costs (that comes out at roughly $15,000).

Thankful to GOD and to YOU doesn't begin to tell you how we feel.

Holiday Market FUNdraiser

So I have been planning this fundraiser for a while now. I haven't been to one like it or even read about someone doing one like this (what was I thinking...).

I had several friends offer to do sales parties for me as a fundraiser. I had done that before last time for our previous adoption and it was fun. After several people asked me I thought...hey, instead of having to pick which one to host (cause we all know I am not gonna wanna ask people on multiple occasions to come shop), why not have multiple people here on ONE occasion, selling lots of things. And hey, it's getting close to Christmas, why not make it a holiday market? And hey, don't I know someone who sells such and such? And doesn't that person have a friend that sells such and such? And ...on and on it went.

So now, we have a holiday market fundraiser planned for this Saturday (1-4pm at my house for you locals just now learning of this!). We have 14 vendors coming, as well as our family selling our t-shirts and our coffees. My oldest daughter is selling her hair bows, and the little girls are selling Christmas ornaments. Little girls from our lifegroup will be selling pipe-cleaner creatures. It will all happen on my first floor (throughout all the rooms). Oh yeah, and I decided to throw in door prizes, refreshments, Christmas music -- and banks.

Banks??? Yes, I have "piggy-backed" piggy banks as an additional fundraiser. I have made 36 mason jar banks (they are pretty cute if I do say so myself, and no, they aren't really piggies...just felt like calling them that) that will be offered to the first 36 people in the door  anyone who will take them. A little explanation and some candy hugs and kisses are in the jars. Fill the jar with your loose change, bring it to us and dump into our large jug, keep the bank and collect again for another's adoption or to donate to something else. Cool, huh?

I have made a large display-board telling T's story with lots of pictures of her (SOOOOO wish I could share on here but our agency doesn't allow it) and another large display-board to show our coffees and t-shirts. We have bought a few t-shirts  (by the way they are awesome, great quality and super soft) for our family to wear.

I have sent out email invites and Facebook invites, re-invited those who didn't RSVP yet (I know I am driving everyone crazy!), made and distributed flyers, and told people. I have no real clue how many people will step through the door. My prayer is that it will be enough to give all my vendors many new contacts for future party hosting as well as some sales each. I just want there to be a continual flow of people from 1-4, when the open house market is scheduled. I am hoping for holiday cheer, good fellowship, and above all to glorify God through His people helping to give a little girl a home.

Oh and did I mention that the chess tourney I signed Jack up for, which had been pretty much cancelled due to low enrollment is now back on and will go all day rather than just the morning as I thought - meaning he and John will likely be gone all day, missing the market (John was to be my coffee guy)? Did I mention that I have been sicker this week (still not quite right) than I have been in years (I won't even go into it, you would run, but I promise - no contagious germs here anymore) and so have spent most of my time in bed or on the couch moaning about how much I have to do but unable to do it? Have I pointed out that I haven't been able to be at the bus stop to hand out the neighborhood flyers because I have looked so awful from being sick and had no energy to go down there?

AGH!!!! Help!!! I have awesome, wonderful vendors coming in one day. All have been so gracious and wonderful to give of their time as well as offer me cash rather than product rewards for hosting (some will give a percentage of sales). Say a prayer for me. Say a prayer for this event.  I have made a drawing of where all the tables will go and where each vendor will be located but having never done this before, I have no idea if this will work or what?? EEK!

The great news - even for you readers - is that for the vendors with online stores, this fundraiser will be going on for another week!! That's right. Any orders tagged on through next week, online, will count toward the total sales and thus the total of what we will earn toward our adoption!! YEEHA!!

So I will need to get emailing and posting again to my long distance family and friends to alert them to the continued sales going on to benefit our efforts to bring little T home.

Check out our next post for the listing of vendors and websites that are available and get a little Christmas shopping checked off your list! Wouldn't it be nicer to shop in your jammies by the fire, than out on Black Friday at the crack of dawn fighting off the other Target shoppers??


And keep me in your prayers. I have been so sick and so weakened from being sick (the weight loss is an added benefit!). I thank God for the timing and know he's in control of this thing, as He knows what's best and has me improving just in time for this event. I have been very discouraged, overwhelmed, and scared about how this will all come together in light of being sick and unable to get it all done on my own. I have had so many friends come alongside me to encourage me, shop, cook, and even clean my house. I am blessed with my sisters in Christ and God's sweet mercy. Thank you girls!

Up again during the night last night, feeling yucky and unable to sleep. I had my handy Bible app on my phone and the encouraging words of James that lifted my spirits - thank you Lord for your mercy, faithfulness to me, and saying just the right thing to me in the dark of the night...

"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly without a second thought."  James 1:2-7 (The Message)

"Anyone who meets a testing challenge head-on and manages to stick it out is mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward is life and more life." James 1:12 (The Message)

The pits...

I mentioned in an earlier post that three other happenings had gone on around here in the last weeks. First were the kids' birthdays, the hurricane was the second, and the third was the election.

 As the election got closer and closer, I found myself feeling more and more awkward and alone. Not an easy thing to explain and perhaps I am on Facebook way too much. The ranting and posting was making me a bit sick (luckily I don't watch much tv so I escaped the mean commercials), but I saw a whole lotta other mean stuff on Facebook.

I am not a political person and if one were to look back across my life, I have wavered and changed in my thinking of what is ok, how government should run, and how and why I choose a certain candidate.  I do not watch the news nor read it most of the time now, and perhaps to some I might seem a bit misinformed about many of the daily goings-on of politics, government and international affairs.

I did not comment on anything political on Facebook until the day of the election when I did "like" a posting of one friend's that spoke of choosing the  candidate most closely aligned with Biblical principles. I believe it may have actually been a Billy Graham quote.

I am already tired of being challenged as it is about what I believe and the choices we have made for our lives - they are not the choices that the world typically makes or promotes. My faith and the core beliefs this country was founded on are also apparently no longer what the world typically believes or promotes anymore either. 

 Frankly, I don't so much take all that too personally but feel badly that what is really at stake and what is really being challenged is my God and his Word. I do think that now more than ever we need a candidate who will tow the tough line of old fashioned values, stricter moral codes, respect for life, a government with a plan and one who applauds those who work hard. I want a leader who will seek to pay off our debt and who sees the importance of supporting Israel.

I was not excited about either candidate and quite honestly, it was hard to get too excited over the whole thing except that I want the above listed things for this country - a country that some of my children will be entering as young adults in the next four years.

I am disappointed in the results obviously, and tho' it was exciting to take my just-turned-18 year old to the polls with me (it is always exciting to me to vote - I feel very patriotic),  I felt a pit in my stomach all day and even more so as the results came in late Tuesday night.

The pit is still there...feeling sad that our country is so torn in two - sorry, but it is. Both sides of the issues are so very different - there is no in between.

 I am feeling sad that despite the victory, the tone of hateful anger from those who were for the winner - continued on Facebook for days after the election. I find myself confused - it is those very people who claim that the win was a victory over hate. Just sayin' and keeping it real folks. I have to say that NOT ONCE did I see an ugly statement from someone who felt they had lost that night - only sad and concerned comments. 

I will not comment further about this issue after this post, but I will say that I will continue to stand for what the Lord stands for:  

Life - despite the inconvenience or inability to accept the consequences of behavior.  

Babies are a blessing from the Lord.

Family - as God designed it only. 

Marriage - as God designed it only - a spiritual and holy union of a man and woman's lives. (Let me be clear - this is not about hate, this is just what the definition of marriage is according to the one who designed it).

Hard work should be rewarded and not penalized.

Debt that continues to grow without a plan to repay, is not okay. 

Israel is to be supported. 

I think we are very foolish to think that God will continue to bless a land that chooses otherwise. Needless to say, I will do my best to support our President because I love our country. I will commit to praying fervently for him and the others in the government (because as we all know, decisions are made by many in government - not just the President) as they face the future.

Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God's side, for God is always right. 
Abraham Lincoln 

(insert palate cleanser here)

 Now on to another PIT...our new fire pit!!

John spontaneously built a fire pit. So strange, I had been thinking of asking him about one since we were planning the teens' party. Guess he read my mind. He built it while we were away at Jill's and we have had so many fun nights of roasting marshmallows, hanging out by the fire, and enjoying our backyard. It reminds us of many fun campfire nights with the Snell family and cousins in Maryland and Maine. 

I will leave you now with some fun pictures of our new evening past-time...marshmallows and our fire pit! I have replaced one pit with another pit - and I like this one so much more...

Compassion Sunday

Hello to those of you who are stopping by! Today was Compassion Sunday at church and I got to set up a display, say a few words to the congregation, and show a video about something near and dear to my heart - child sponsorship through Compassion International. For those of you who missed church, or who don't live nearby, here's what I shared -

We saw a short, sweet video that followed two "Elizabeths," one a sponsor and the other, her Guatemalan sponsored child. The child, through an interpreter, relates her story. This is a child who, in the eyes of the world, has nothing. She lives in obvious poverty, has no mother, a father unable to work due to injury, and she is doing the housekeeping and care for her younger siblings.

But the light in her life is the Compassion program at her local church that she attends. There she receives food, health care, educational help, and Biblical teaching about Jesus. She is there because she has a sponsor - Elizabeth from the USA. She and Elizabeth exchange letters and drawings, prayer requests, and friendship through a relationship through the mail. Her life's story has been changed because of Compassion and her sponsor's help. I just figured out how to share the video so here it is if you missed it -

Compassion Sunday 2012 Elisabeth (short) from Compassion International on Vimeo.

I challenged our church to see if we could sponsor all 25 of the child info packets that I had at our display out in the lobby. Sponsorship is a wonderful ministry - just $38 a month. You can forever change the life story of one little child living in extreme poverty and most importantly, introduce them to Jesus Christ.  There are many wonderful groups that have child sponsorship programs but through our family's years of sponsorship, we have found Compassion International's Christ-focus (where care is given through a local church and families are plugged into a church community) to be our favorite.

Well, God was faithful and moved in the hearts of many today - 19 of the 25 children were sponsored. I am hoping to speak again at our Bible study on Thursday and perhaps more will be sponsored. We will try again next week as well. Feeling so excited that 19 new children will be getting wonderful news soon that they have been chosen to participate in a Compassion program. Great things are in store for them! Of the 19 that were chosen today, several were children who were considered to be "priority" kids - ones who had waited over 6 months to a year for someone to choose them. YAY!

The simple act of saying "yes" to the opportunity to sponsor is huge - huge for that child and also for the sponsor. I can't tell you the number of times that our sponsored children have written us of how they are praying for us or show care about our wellbeing. It is truly humbling. I consider them my "extended family" or my  "long-distance kids." They hold a special place in my heart.

While I am at it (plugging Compassion and child sponsorship and all..), I want to encourage any of you who might be curious or want more info, to check out the Compassion website (www.compassion.com) for lots more videos and information. You can find pictures of children from all over the world (or search a particular country, age child, or even a child born on your birthday) and begin a sponsorship right now - today! If you are local - I still have 6 beautiful children's info packets - kids who are waiting to still be sponsored by our church family.

That's it for today guys, Happy Compassion Sunday to you - I am happy to say that....

**UPDATE: By the end of the week, all 25 children had sponsors! AWESOME!

YAY One step closer...

YAY YIPPEE YAY !!

We have been eagerly awaiting this next phase of our adoption and it is finally here! We are now -

What is that??

Well, DTC stands for "Dossier to China" which is the next step in our adoption process. All of the many forms, background checks, letters of recommendation, homestudy, fingerprint and immigration approvals, photos, birth certificates and basically everything about our family, have been stamped by our government, translated and bound together and are on their way across the Pacific Ocean headed toward the China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) to await an LID - "log-in date" - the day the dossier is officially logged in to their system.

So what happens now?

As far as I know, here are our remaining steps:

1. Receive our LID (log in date) (I think this takes a few weeks to a month from DTC).
2. Receive our official referral of T which we will sign/notarize and then send back to the agency and then to China.
3. Await our LOA (our official letter of acceptance from China). This can take 1-5 months to arrive (averaging around 60 days). Once we receive this, we sign, copy and return to the agency.  It is at this point that we can formally announce our new daughter here on the blog and share all her sweet pictures!!
4. Now we will file another immigration form (I-800) - this takes about 3 weeks til approval. The approval gets sent to the National Visa Center.
5. The National Visa Center will now send their approval to the US Consulate - this takes a week. A week after that, we should receive a letter saying that step is complete.
6. We send that letter off to our agency in WA who delivers the letter to the US Consulate in China. China then issues an "Article 5" in 2-3 weeks stating their pre-approval for an immigration visa for Ting. Our agency picks up that Article 5 and takes that to the CCAA (are you following all these initials???).
7. Once the CCAA receives our Article 5, they issue our TA (travel approval) - this takes about 2-4 weeks.
8. Once we have our TA, our agency will arrange all our travel details and we must travel within 90 days to meet and bring home our daughter!!!

Phew... did you follow all that???? I didn't even list out all the steps that got us to the DTC (we have been working on all of those steps since April!!).

Yes, adoption is not for the faint of heart. Pregnancy and childbirth were hard but this is hard in a whole new way!

Still wondering what you can do to help? (quite a few of you have asked). There are several ways:

1. PRAY! We are still fundraising (will be til we head to China), still have fees to pay and the looming travel costs. Pray for T who doesn't know about us yet but will soon. She has been in her foster home for as long as she can remember. This is going to be such a change for her - and will be very difficult. Please pray for her little heart to handle the changes ahead of her. We are excited that soon we will be able to send her a care package with a photo album of our family and some gifts.

2. BE A PIECE OF OUR PUZZLE! I am happy to say that we have over 200 of the 500 pieces we need to have our world puzzle totally sponsored. Thank you so much to those of you who have already sponsored pieces. It's easy - each piece is $10. You can pay using PayPal (see the top right hand bar of this blog - the "chip-in" only shows up if viewing this on your computer - not phone). Or you can send me a check or purchase pieces in person. Many of our friends and family have bought a piece for each member of their family. Thank you to all of them for this gift - your names are all listed at the bottom of the blog. My family is getting excited for the day that the entire puzzle is sponsored and we can put the puzzle together!

3. BUY SOME COFFEE! We are currently selling coffee as a fundraiser for our costs. See the right hand bar of this blog for our Just Love Coffee Storefront. We are selling a number of different yummy coffees and receive a portion of all the purchases.

4. PRAYERFULLY CONSIDER HOW YOU CAN HELP WITH THE ORPHAN CRISIS. My hope is that our story will inspire all of you to learn more about a crisis that is very easy for us to ignore or assume is not our responsibility. The statistics estimate that there are between 143 and 210 MILLION orphans world-wide. Not our problem? - not so. God speaks many times about our responsibility to care for the fatherless and the poor. Can you even imagine not having a family or parents? Not having a home and the love and security of a family to help you in this life? Please, pray how you can help. Pray for these children, sponsor a fatherless child, help a family you know locally who is adopting. Perhaps God is nudging you to do more - perhaps he is nudging your family to look into adoption. Please, do something.

4. CHECK BACK WITH OUR BLOG FREQUENTLY FOR FUTURE FUNDRAISERS! We are hoping to do a few more fundraisers as time goes on. At the moment, we are applying for some grants with some wonderful organizations who assist families who are following God's call to care for orphans. So again, I am swamped with more paperwork...it never ends...lol

Thank you all for the encouraging gifts, notes, comments and love. We can't tell you how humbled and grateful we are!

Well, whataya know?

I never meant for this blog to turn into an "adoption" blog. I know that sounds funny but I really set out to record the happenings of our family, some of my thoughts, and post a whole lotta photos. I guess in many ways, a blog could save me from my endless guilt for not keeping up with my scrapbooks.

(I am sooooooooo behind in my scrapbooks.)

I realize most of my posts these days focus on our current adoption and while that is good (and at times, the most newsworthy), there really are lots of other happenings here at home. Kids are growing up (way too fast, I might add) and we are in the thick of trying to figure out a new fall schedule - complete with many different schedules, activities, etc.

This morning found me a bit discouraged. I was feeling sorta down as I left the house this morning to walk Moo-shu (the dog). I was feeling like I am behind with household chores - the laundry piles are pretty heinous about now. I am not really prepared for all the subjects I need to teach the 3 that are home this year - 2 are a bit behind in some areas and I just can't decide the best curriculum and way to go with them. 

My kids are whining and carrying on about doing any school at this point. 

But the biggest thing getting me down is the adoption (I know, here I go again about the adoption...). I have felt a bit discouraged - feeling worried about the money and that although we have had some wonderful help from family and friends...worried that it just won't be enough. While many have been encouraging and excited for us, some, have not. I have found myself worrying that what God has called us to do, well, that He won't come through somehow with all the little details and money needs and emotional needs and....well, you get the picture.

As I turned to head home with the dog, I saw it.

A rainbow.

It was over my house and I didn't have a camera.

So pretty and so unexpected.

*** Not the actual one from today but you get the idea.

I even felt a bit guilty when I saw it.

God was reminding me. He's got this thing.

Later in the day, He moved a mountain for us.

Our dossier is waiting for one document to be returned from NY state. We have been waiting for 3 weeks for this document to be "stamped" and sent back to our agency. Our agency had called to check on it and had been told it would take three weeks. 

Three weeks have now passed so I decided to have a go at it. I was told quite firmly that this was going to take 6-8 weeks as they were so behind from summer. At first they couldn't even find my birth certificate (the document in question). I needed to call them back after getting lots more info from our agency with regard to when it was sent, how it was sent, what color envelope (?), etc.

At some point the fact that we needed this for an adoption came up and she told me we could "walk in" to get it which would be faster.

In NYC.

A bit too far from VA...

She put me on hold, and quite honestly I nearly hung up. The phone was silent for so long and I was pretty sure that she and I had become disconnected. I was bumming out that our adoption would now be pushed back at least a month due to one document and the fact that they were behind because employees had been on vacation.

I really almost hung up.

When she returned to the phone she was laughing and giddy and nearly crying. She told me that she had talked her supervisor into doing our form now, since it was pulled out. That because we were adopting (I then told her all about T, and about being a native NYC girl, and about how God had just done a miracle through her), that because of all that, she was going to push us ahead and that she and her supervisor were so excited. (A huge shout out to my new friend, Mrs. Griffith and her boss in NYC!)

They estimate it will be on its way in the mail tomorrow - not Sept 28 (the date she had estimated to me at the start of our conversation).

Well, whataya know?

I get teary just writing this out.

God gave me such a boost today.

Thanks to HIM for HIS kindness to me this day - with something I needed - which seemed impossible -  which was threatening to make me feel even more discouraged.

He sees,
He knows,
He cares.

He is active in the details and in our little concerns and worries.

He is faithful.


*** I have linked this post to a wonderful blog called A Place Called Simplicity as part of Memorial Box Mondays. Click back to their blog to read about others' stories of God's faithfulness.

Let my life be the proof..

To say that I am uncomfortable with some of the comments that have come my way lately is an understatement.

People are so kind and say such kind things but I do find myself uncomfortable with the adjectives they use to "praise" me and my family. Those of you who have adopted or done anything big for God (ie: something that seems CRAZY to the world) might understand what I am talking about. Please don't get me wrong. I appreciate the sweet comments and praises for being - kind, dedicated, self-sacrificing, patient, loving, generous, amazing, etc...

BUT...

Although I and my family might have moments of each of those personality traits, we are no more those things than someone else...on our own. ANY of those things that you think you see or think we are - I just can't take credit for.

The credit is all God's. ALL - EVERY BIT - ALWAYS.

The other day I was STRUCK by a song. Has that ever happened to you?? The words are straight from one of the most popular, well-known, and dare I say - overused (not sure scripture can ever be overused but...) scripture from the Bible.  1 Corinthians 13. The love chapter. 

Like you, I have read this chapter many times, heard it at countless weddings, and even had to nervously read it from the pulpit a few times. Yeah, yeah, we all know...it's about love. But in the car the other day I was really hit by the words in a whole new way. This chapter is not just about how to live a life of loving the special people (our spouses, our families) in a nice way. Our lives should show Christ's love always, and in all we do and to everyone we encounter - every day, all the time. Wow. This is not about being a super great person who is nice.

(Yikes, I have a long way to go...really...)

This is love. And this love isn't easy. It can be uncomfortable, hard, tiring, challenging, boring, irritating, long-suffering, painful - but also joyful, rewarding, and fun.  

And when we really show it, we are allowing God to come through us to another. Then maybe those descriptives above will be seen more and more in our lives. (Not just what people think we are because we have chosen to follow God on a unconventional project!) Proof that He is who He is and what He is - LOVE. 

(Just reread this and I feel I should put a disclaimer here at this point: I realize I am not stating any novel or profound new meaning of this chapter. Just suffice it to say that what I love about God's word is how it meets us at the moment we are hearing or reading it and speaks fresh each time when we are really listening). Hearing this song convicted me that the words my friends and family are saying about me (and my family) need to be REALLY what I am more and more and more. That if I am really heeding God's word and allowing Him to change me and my life, then those descriptives above will be more accurate more of the time. Let my life and my actions, be the proof of His love. 

Here's the song...enjoy...(I found several versions/videos on youtube but this one I particularly liked!)

Puzzle Fundraiser Kickoff

Do not be afraid, for I am with you. I will gather you and your children from east and west. Isaiah 43:5

Wow! Last Thursday morning, I sat nervously with my finger hovering over the "post" button on Facebook. I had written a status saying that we had a family announcement with a link to this blog - my private blog, my little home on the internet, my unknown blog. We were so excited to finally tell everyone and yet, a bit nervous that we might hear comments that weren't so positive.

No need to be nervous.

We were overwhelmed with the kind and sweet messages from family and friends who finally know our big "secret" and who are as excited as we are to meet our newest daughter. Thank you to our friends and family who have been so encouraging and happy for us.

Many of you have asked us how you can help - and some of you already are (writing recommendations, serving as our notary, providing clothes and gifts already, offering extra beds)! THANK YOU - THANK YOU!

Thank you for your offers of help - we appreciate them so very much. Adoption is costly. We have been through it before and every penny is worth it, but it is a huge expense. We worked hard to do it last time but this time will be an even harder task. We are relying on our faith that God who called us to this will not let us down and will help us to find a way to accomplish the many huge fees and travel. Which brings me to our first effort - 

OUR JIGSAW PUZZLE FUNDRAISER!

We have purchased a wonderful, 500 piece, children's map of the world puzzle (see it pictured above). Since we will be a very international family, we thought it was quite fitting!

Anyone can help us put our puzzle together by purchasing a piece or pieces. Each puzzle piece costs $10 - and you are welcome to purchase as many as you would like!

When you purchase a piece of our puzzle, we will write your name (or family's name ex: "The Snell family") on the back of the piece. As the weeks go on, I will post photos of the pieces as we label them. Be looking for your name!

Once the entire puzzle is funded, we'll put it together as a family and have it framed between two pieces of glass. One day T will be able to look on the back at the names of all the friends and family who helped to bring her home!

To make a donation, click on our Chip-In donation box in the upper right sidebar. ** This Chip-In box will NOT show up if you are viewing this on your phone.**

The Chip-In will take you to PayPal. If you do not have a PayPal account, you can still donate by clicking the "I do not have a PayPal account" button - this will allow you to pay by credit card. Or you can send a check to us. (3256 Turnberry Circle, Charlottesville, VA 22911).  Please be sure to note on your donation (or leave a comment here) the names you would like on your puzzle pieces.

**PayPal donations are NOT tax-deductible - we hope to have an account later in the process for tax-deductible donations. We are also planning a local fundraiser and another online (possibly t-shirt) fundraiser on line.

It is very difficult for me to ask for donations tho' I know that there are many who feel for the plight of the orphan and tho' they may not be able to "go," they might like to help "send" a family. It is gratifying to be able to give in a way that enables you to actually see the child you have helped.

I know some of our friends are also adopting, some are getting over the costs of adoption, some are saving for mission trips, and many of you (like us) are just trying to survive these financial times. Please know that we are not expecting all to be able to give. We do ask that you would pray for us!

Thank you for considering a donation to our adoption. Thank you for praying for us. Thank you for your encouragement and kind words. We are forever humbled and grateful.

God called and we said "YES"

It is with great excitement and humble hearts that we 

 are answering God's call to adopt again!! 

Where is He sending us??

CHINA!!

                                               

Just last week we received our "PA"  (pre approval) from China for the adoption of a little girl we will be referring to here as "T!"

T is a beautiful little 4 year old girl from China. Our agency doesn't allow us to post a picture yet - but trust me, she's adorable! We can't wait to bring her home to be a part of our family.

We now have a new list of things to accomplish in the next six months - Dr. appointments, homestudy, fundraising, and lots of paperchasing as we compile the adoption dossier. Please join us in praying for our little daughter in China. T has some special needs and will come to us with some unknowns (as in any adoption). Please pray for our family as we deal with the expenses and the adoption process - adoption is not for the faint of heart - it can be a brutal game of costs, timelines and waiting!! Our time frame will be about a year. Also pray for our six children as they process the idea of adding another Snell to the crew. There will be many transitions ahead.

We feel blessed and overwhelmed - all at the same time!

 We rejoice that there will be one less orphan

 - one more little child who will know the love of a family and of the God who has loved her all along.

**My blog has been rather private til now - I haven't had it for too long and have never really shared it!! I don't claim to be a great writer or share anything too profound - just some of my thoughts, happenings around the Snell household, and now - updates on the adoption process to our newest daughter. 

More details to follow - background story, answers to some of the common questions about adoption, our first fundraiser, and how you can help us bring our daughter home! :)

Forever changed...

I've had a blog post floating around in my head for weeks. As I have said a few times before, I am not a writer. I wish it flowed from my heart and head to the keys on this computer, but it doesn't. Here goes...

I am blessed. I have been blessed beyond measure with good health, good parents, great childhood, enough money, college, jobs, healthcare, marriage to an amazing man, children, a beautiful home, wonderful memories, and then more children. I live in a free country and a beautiful town. God has been incredibly gentle with me. He has walked beside me through the darkest days after losing my father tragically, through the heights of marriage and birthing babies, to the last few years of struggle and joy as our family has wobbled while trying to find a new normal with the addition of our girls.

All the trials and moments have been proof of my God's mercy and faithfulness, His love and kindness, His discipline and guidance. I fail miserably some days, yet He picks me up and lets me start over, each and every day. He forgives my stubborn ways, my sometimes quick temper,  my rough edges - and He is smoothing them out with His forgiveness and love.

The greatest blessing of my life is knowing the truth, asking Jesus into my life and knowing that following Him is the only way to real life and real joy.  I want my life to be used by Him and for Him and to point others to Him. I want my eyes and heart to focus on the things that truly matter to Him - a hard thing to do in a materialistic world that says "it's all about me." I actually made the decision a long time ago that I wanted my life to matter in God's eyes - no one else's. That I wanted to do big things for Him. That I wanted our family to be a light in this world of so much darkness.

     Having four children in a 6 year span and homeschooling them all seemed my "big thing to do for Him." Raising my children to know and love God, to learn His Word, has been my full time job for the last 13 years. It has been a journey - exhausting and rewarding in a way I will never be able to explain - the words fail me. The memories and time with my children has been nothing short of fantastic. I will never regret our call and decision to follow God down the homeschool path and for the years we have spent learning and growing together.

And then came adoption.

Our adoption  - the decision to follow God down a path that seemed crazy and ridiculously expensive and overwhelming to some. It seemed crazy and ridiculously expensive and overwhelming to us. Jumping off a cliff (and believe me, that is really how it feels) is scary and "lump-in-your-throat" terrifying and also the most beautiful and awesome thing ever. To know God in a whole new way sounds too trite to explain it. To see God do miracles for children who are forgotten and abandoned half the way across the globe and to work out details and money needs and travel and ... the list goes on - this is to see a side of God that I could never have seen before.

Jemila and Kulate the day after they entered the orphanage in 2008

The girls on Jemila's 8th birthday 2012

Our God is about adoption. He loves children and longs for us to help orphans and widows. This is where His heart is and to be a part of that is just not like anything I can even express. To now see our girls bubbling with excitement over something they just learned, or giggling as they ice skate, or drawing pretty pictures, or singing praises in church - well, it's a feeling I can't even explain. To think that God used me and my family in some way so powerful to set these little girls in a family with love and the knowledge of Him, well, it is just too much for this challenged writer to put down here.

I am forever changed.

It is hard to look at life the same now. The things and ways I spent my time in the past seem empty and unnecessary. My priorities have changed and the things of this world do not entice me in the way that knowing and being a part of what is close to God's heart does.  Going to Africa shook me up and put me back together in a whole new way. Life will never be the same.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. (James 1:27)

("I am happy that I am me and I am happy that I have a Mom and  I have a Dad" - Jemila)

This blog post can be found on Deathbygreatwall.com as part of a link up to adoption stories. Head over there to check out some other wonderful adoption stories!

Real Christmas happens in the mall...

Woke to find this youtube video on Facebook today and was so excited. It kinda goes along with my last post (which, by the way, I reread and worry that it sounds rather preachy, sorry). I am just craving the simple message of Christmas. 

Speaking of which, we went to Bethlehem yesterday! Yes, we followed the star in the sky (a cool spotlight we could see as we approached Afton, VA's live nativity village). The kids (we took the younger four) were amazed about this oddity in the sky. They didn't know where we were going and were so concerned about the ray of light shining down from the sky. I kept thinking "Wait for it...wait for it..." I was waiting for someone to finally make the connection that it looked like the Bethlehem star. And someone did! We enjoyed our walk through the village, seeing the animals and characters of the Christmas story and some cookies and warm apple cider. It was a sweet memory...

Enjoy the video - just wish something like this would happen when I am present...ok, actually the inner actress/singer in me longs to be in one of these someday...ah, a girl can dream...

Aslan is on the move...

As a college student taking a children's literature class, I read The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe for the first time. At that time, I missed the parallels to Biblical truth that this story so beautifully demonstrates. Now, years later as a Christian mom who has read the book aloud several times, heard my husband reading the book several times, seen the play and the beautiful movie, I have grown to love the series. 

I love Aslan the lion, who like our God, is there for us - behind the scenes, loving and self-sacrificing, scary and yet comforting in a world of uncertainty and sometimes, tragedy. I love His strong voice and fair justice. I love that He brings Spring and life and excitement as his followers whisper "Aslan is on the move."

Well, Aslan is on the move here. He is moving in my church, in my home, and in my heart. I can feel the Lord gently waiting and watching with his strength, truth, and power. HE is moving and I am waiting to hear how He wants us to move.

Years ago...ah, maybe about 8 or so, my husband and I had an overwhelming feeling that the Lord was  calling us to do something big for Him. We would sit at night after exhausting days of work and homeschooling our four kids, carpooling, church meetings and busy-ness and talk about how we both just had this feeling as tho' we were meant to do more yet didn't know what.

We never knew beyond that until 3+ years ago when it became increasingly clear that adoption was what we were to do. We knew we needed to be giving of ourselves so much more, sacrificing so much more, and furthering the kingdom of God in a much bigger way than just raising our four children and attending church dutifully. 

I do remember thinking, as we lived through these last three years -  during the adoption process (those of you who have adopted know what a trying time that is as you jump through endless hoops, pay huge amounts of money without guarantees, and love and pray for the little faces of children only known to your heart), and the last two years of losing the "old" family and embracing and figuring out the "new" family -  that even this process might actually be what God wanted for us to do to impact His kingdom. (Did I really just write that long run-on sentence??? Yikes...sorry, but not going to change it!). As we struggled along in our home, was God getting any glory? Was the kingdom affected in any positive way when so many days I was grumpy or wiped out from trying, or sad that we had destroyed the beautiful family "thing" we already had going?  Had our jumping-off-the-cliff-in-faith move (the adoption), been the gift to God that we had wanted it to be when we were not being the parents we wished were were, not always loving unconditionally, complaining and sad?

I realize now as I look back on the struggles of the last two years since the girls have been home, that adoption doesn't just impact the children who have finally found their forever families and the families that take them in. My girls' adoption has inspired others to adopt, to turn their hearts to the orphan, to become aware of the needs of Africa, to accept and love a child of color (sad, I know, but this is still something that many haven't mastered), and perhaps most importantly - to consider that Aslan is on the move. To consider that God is real and moving and life changing. That He can do miraculous things through His people  (even the average and broken ones like us!) when we are listening, watching for Him to "be on the move" and obedient to His stirrings in our hearts.

The last two years have changed me in ways that are too many to count. I have been broken by my need for a savior on a moment by moment basis sometimes.  I have tried to share my struggles and be transparent with my burdens and difficulties, as well as our joys and triumphs of the last two years. It has certainly not been easy. It is hard to be a family who is so "noticeable" and "on display" at times. However, I realize that I have daily been offered an opportunity to share about what the Lord is able to do - How I lean on Him and need Him and how it is ONLY through Him that we are making it. He gets the credit and He has given me a huge way to affect His kingdom through our "ministry" of adoption.

Our hearts are being stirred again.  He is calling for something big again. John and I are feeling it. We are getting comfortable and God is asking us again to step out in some big way. We are praying for His leading and guidance and we know He will give it. Just haven't heard it yet. But when we do we will obey.

Is He stirring in your heart?  

Aslan is on the move....

School days

2001

Ok, ok, I know what you are thinking...she has given up on her blog already....NOT SO!!! Can we talk?? These have been a crazy few weeks. The beginning of school always is - for oh, so many reasons... This year has been no exception. The last month has been emotionally difficult, financially difficult, and logistically difficult.

2002

2006

We are a homeschooling family. We stumbled upon it due to lots of reasons - some practical, some spiritual. I had never planned to do it, and really never thought it would be for many years. But as each year passed, it felt right and how it should be.

Hard and exhausting, exasperating and fantastic...it became our identity, our focus, our friendships, and our way of life. Hours of reading and snuggling on the couch, delving into whatever topics we found interesting, eating lunch together everyday, sleeping late sometimes, taking off days when we want, carschooling, etc. - what a blessing it has been -  and such wonderful memories! We have raised our kids with the knowledge that God is the center of it all and hopefully with the knowledge of the most important thing of all - beyond writing skills and perfect handwriting and mathematic ability and high test scores - is our relationship with Christ and that our lives are to be a gift back to him for all He has given us. I have loved it and would never change a thing. We have grown together and spent so much time together as a family. It was the best decision I could have ever made.

2008

2010

Fast forward to this summer. Twelve homeschooling years have passed us by. It has truly become our way of doing things. But this year is very different. We have three children in school this year. I can hardly believe it and struggled all throughout the last year, mostly the summer, thinking about, praying and stressing over the decision to send our two little girls to public elementary school. My hope had always been to give them what I have given the other kids - would they feel they got less of me or less love or a "raw deal" to not have been homeschooled like the others?

2011

The Lord has given me a peace. I still don't like that they aren't at home, in fact many times I feel heart-broken, but the reality is that it was no longer working - for anyone. I was constantly stressed and feeling like I couldn't do it all - and frankly, last year I wasn't. There was too much attention given to the girls, their behavior, their interrupting, their constant needs. My others have suffered. There is healing that needs to go on here and this is the time to do it.

The girls do well with constant stimulation and movement so school is going great for them. They love all the activity, activity stations, specials (they are getting special reading and ESL help). They are flourishing and we are enjoying them more.

My boys are more relaxed. Let's be honest here - they have struggled the most these last two years. They are getting quiet time to do their work, my undivided attention during the school hours, and it is all good!

My oldest son is an eleventh grader and he is blowing me away!!! He is taking 3 classes at the local community college - three days a week. He is riding the city bus (even has to change buses) and is handling everything like a real grown up. He is doing well in his classes and makes me so very proud. He and Kate (14) both still attend our homeschool co-op all day on Tuesdays. The younger boys and I are at a new co-op (Classical Conversations) on another day...it's a pretty crazy schedule...don't even get me started on the extra curriculars!

I am most thankful to my God for giving me peace with these difficult decisions. The most important thing (as described above - our relationship with Christ and living our life for him) is still the most important thing - whether the kids are at home, co-op, community college or public school. Happy fall!

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6